Lying in bed last night, I was aware of something moving across the ceiling. It was clear that there was spider infestation at my home. This spider was following a line along the outer edge of the roof. I watched as he paused and then scurried off across the roof. It was fascinating to me to watch his movements, so precise and with a purpose.

There are several recessed lights on the ceiling, and he suddenly seemed to notice one of them, paused again and then took a few slow steps towards it and rested alongside the rim. I decided that he had assessed his surroundings and decided that the rim of the light provided good camouflage as he rested. Soon he was off again, veering like a drunkard across the ceiling, running this way and then that, as if he was being chased by ahem a human antagonist. He made it to another of those recessed lights and again rested before scurrying off once more at great speed. I was very aware that his movements were indicative of fear.

It is interesting that a spider will run across the floor as fast as he possibly can because he is afraid of the dangers looming in the form of a human being who is afraid of the spider…and often that human being will say that it is the speed at which a spider moves which creates the greatest fear. It’s a bit of a chicken and egg scenario, and very unfortunate for the spider.

At this point, I switched off the light but couldn’t help thinking about the spider and what his world must be like. And that led me to think about the fact that what a parent can do to help a child overcome his fear of spiders. If your child is has a fear of spiders, no amount of telling him that “he’s small, he’s more afraid of you than you of him” is sufficient to remove that fear. The fear does not spring from logical thought, and so the application of logic will not shift that fear. Fear is fear. Fear is raw emotion. It is a feeling, one who is intense, and it springs automatically from the subconscious mind.

Recently, I called a pest control company near me for advice on how a parent would help their child overcome their fear of spiders.  I was told that first they must look to what creates that raw emotion; one must deal with the subconscious patterns of thought from which that emotion flows so easily and dramatically. How do you get into your child’s subconscious mind? The answer is hypnosis.

Hypnosis is a state of relaxation, and you pass through hypnosis every night as you drift off to sleep. While in hypnosis you have access to your subconscious mind, and so old thought patterns and processes can be adjusted. Deep rooted fears can be examined and reworked with the assistance of hypnosis downloads. Hypnosis provides an environment which is ideal for retraining your mind in the resolution of internal conflicts, or in overcoming fears and phobias. Listening to a hypnosis download, can help your child overcome his fear of spiders quickly and easily, in the comfort of your own home.


Parenting is dynamic and keeps changing from one generation to another. The challenges that parents face and the style of parenting that were applied 30 years ago may not be applicable today. The changes are mainly brought about primarily as a result of changes in technology as well as the changes in the societal set up.

With new challenges brought about by new threats such as cyber bullying as a result of exposure of the children to technological devices and increase in internet connectivity, as a parent you have to play a bigger part in keeping your child safe.

Some of the differences of parenting today as compared to 30 years ago include:


These days there is an increased need to keeping your child safe as compared to 30 years ago. This is as a result of increased cases of kidnaps and robberies in neighborhoods. There is a sharp increase in sensitivity to security of your children as compared to 30 years ago when children could comfortably and conveniently play outside up to late evenings before returning to the house.

This has meant that children have had to be monitored more. The alternative has been to provide alternative games for children within the house. This has come with its own concerns as surfing the internet has become an alternative. This means that keeping your child safe from cyber-attacks has become another new concern in this age of parenting.


There has been an increased knowledge and use of different family planning methodologies. This has led to people having increasingly smaller families. As a result the parents are being able to provide a better lifestyle and higher standard of living to the children. The parents are able to take the children to better schools, provide the children with better housing and even more stylish clothes.

This means that the children today are growing up with more confidence and are able to achieve more.


In the past children were mainly guided by the parents on the traditional careers. These areas included law, medicine and engineering. This has since changed as a result of more exposure and the emergence of celebrity culture. These days the parents have been forced to get used to other career preferences that the children have.

These days it is normal to have children whose dreams include becoming painters, musicians, cooks and even professional dancers. As a parent you are expected to be more supportive to the career path your child chooses.


With increased affirmative action and more recognition of the women, it is no longer the days when children used to be told that the father is always the head of the family and the decision the decision he makes concerning the family is final. These days there is more equity in the family and thus you have to train your child the need for consultation within the family before any decision is reached.

Unlike 30 years ago when each gender had its own defined role, there has been a big change these days. This means that as a parent today you have to train your children to do all kinds of work without looking at their gender.

The Negative Influence of Texting for Our Kids

It is common to see people looking down at their phones even at the most beautiful nature scenes. Today people are texting whether they are at the beach, walking the dog or sitting at a nice park with pine trees even in classes. It’s of course also familiar to see families eating dinner together each in his universe of communication by phone. There was also recently a television report that discussed how twenty-five percent of people attending a funeral including children engage in texting. For many youngsters, this trend seems to be quite disturbing.

Baby boomers didn’t have cell phones most of their lives. Many people over fifty only had phones in their homes, or dorm rooms so never went through teen and college years with portable communication. This meant that there were no communication distractions when you would be at a gathering with people. Children may distract themselves by playing games but not by cell phone texting. One way to see if texting is dominating your life is to ask yourself as a youngster if you are still spending some of each day experiencing live conversations, the scenery in nature and dinner conversations. Do you crave picking up your phone always to check messages? Is it hard to be present to the people you are with at a meal? Ironically, these may be the same people you’d love to text with later in the day. That is something to think about.

Why is it that people often prefer to text than to talk to the people at their table?  One way to look at your attachment to texting is to see how you feel if you forget your phone when you are doing a small task such as going to the grocery store. If you forgot it, how do you react? You may only be gone for thirty minutes, but this could create a terrible panic for some people. Another common problem is that young people text while they drive even in states where it is illegal. It is now a major source of accidents on the road. There are commercials where relatives of those who were killed during driving even show the last text that their family member was received at the time of the fatal car accident. A common complaint from parents of teenagers is that their kids prefer texting to reading books. Many teens are involved in texting at least 3000 times a month. Teens also stay up quite late on school nights texting and often can be found communicating with friends at 2 in the morning. This has an impact on one’s concentration, sleep patterns, and school performance.

Helicopter Parenting and Best Ways to Avoid Being One

Helicopter parenting is a relatively new term in our cultural lexicon. It refers to today’s cultural tendency to parent with a keen eye towards protecting our children from any and all potential sources of harm, risk and disappointment. In many ways, helicopter parenting is synonymous with the notion of “over-parenting” and “hyper-parenting.”

Here are the best ways to avoid being one of the Helicopter parents

  1. Lighten up.

By spending so much time worrying, we are causing our children to be anxious, unadventurous, and afraid in a world that is safer in a lot of ways than ever before. Death by injury has dropped more than 50% since 1980, yet parents insist on removing jungle gyms from playgrounds. There are warning labels on everything from clothing to tables.

There are two types of risks: probable and possible. Anything is possible, but few of those are probable.

  1. Don’t let your emotions rule the roost.

Don’t let your actions get dictated by fear. Many parents spend their days operating in the “danger” mode. From child leashes to GPS systems that will automatically notify you if your child is out of range, parents invest heavily in ensuring their children’s safety.

The fact is that it’s more likely for your child to get injured in your car than abducted by a stranger (1 in 1.5 million) or even molested (80% of children get molested by friends or relatives). This doesn’t mean you shouldn’t get prepared but do so in a way that allows your child to learn to be independent.

  1. Let the consequences do the talking.

Parents are going to extreme lengths to make sure their children succeed: everything from bringing forgotten notebooks to school, to requesting “parent packs” from college recruitment officers.

Kids learn by doing. Sometimes, doing means failing. By depriving your child of the chance to do things on their own, whether it’s a walk down the block to a friend, a school report, or choosing what classes to take their freshman year, you deprive them of the chance to grow. Failure alone is not the problem; it is the failure to learn from our mistakes that are ultimately the most dangerous enemy our children face.

  1. Let the play begin.

Children these days are overscheduled, micro-managed, and pushed to be better, smarter, stronger, and more talented -right from birth. The smart baby market is one of the most lucrative, matched only by a load of products geared towards their older siblings.

However, research shows that having free time just to play is critical to a child’s development in many areas. Cut down on the amount of scheduled extracurricular activities by at least 25%. Instead of dreading unstructured time, think of it as giving your child time to be themselves.